i was hoping

man on the moon man on the moon
alanis'in beyne giden damarları tıkayan şarkısı.mtv unplugged versiyonunu dinler iseniz kalbinize giden damarlarında tıkanması mümkün.

i was hoping i was hoping we could dance together
i was hoping i was hoping we could be creamy together.
cherryblossomgirl cherryblossomgirl
ayıptır söylemesi ezbere bildiğim şarkının sözleri şöyledir:

as we were talking outside, it was cold we were shivering
yet warmed by the subject matter
my wife is in the next room we've been having troubles
you know please don't tell her or anyone
but i need to talk to somebody
you said "wouldn't it be a shame if i knew how great i was
five minutes before i died i'd be filled with such regret
before i took my last breath"
and i said "but you're willing to tell me this now
and you're not going to die any time soon"
and i said i haven't been eating chicken or meat or
anything and you said yes
but you've been wearing leather and laughed and said
we're at the top of the food chain
and yes you're still a fine woman
i cringed
i was hoping i was hoping we could heal each other
i was hoping i was hoping we could be raw together
we left the restaurant where the head waiter in his 60's said
"good-bye sir, thank you for your business sir, you're
successful and established sir and we like the frequency with
which you dine here sir
and your money"
and when i walked by they said
"thank you too dear" i was all pigtails and cords
there was a day when i would've said something like
"hey dude i could buy and sell this place, so kiss it"
i too once thought i was owed something
i was hoping i was hoping we could challenge each other
i was hoping i was hoping we could crack each other up
i too once thought that when proved wrong that i lost somehow
i too once thought that life was cruel
it's a cycle really you think i'm withdrawing and guilt tripping you
i think you're insensitive and i don't feel heard
and i said do you believe we are fundamentally judgmental?
fundamentally evil?
you said yes
i said i don't believe in revenge
in right or wrong good or bad you said
"well what about the man that i saw handcuffed in the
emergency room bleeding after beating his kid
and she threw a shoe at his head.
i think what he did was wrong and i would've had a hard time
feeling compassion for him"
i had to watch my tone for fear of having you feel judged.
i was hoping i was hoping we could dance together
i was hoping i was hoping we could be creamy together.
hilde hilde
unplugged versiyonu dinleyen insanlar içinde bir yerlerde hala umut ettiğini fark etsin, mutsuz olsun ve ağlasın diye yapılmıştır bence.

alanis'in şarkılarında genelde görmediğimiz biçimde bir hikaye anlatılır bu şarkıda. işte bir erkek ve bir kadın vardır, erkeğin karısıyla ilgili problemleri vardır ve bunu konuşacak kişi olarak ona karşı bir şeyler hisseden kadını bulmuştur bula bula. erkek der ki: "ölmeden 5 dk önce ne kadar büyük bir insan olduğunu fark etmek ne üzücü olurdu, pişmanlık içinde verirdin son nefesini". kadın da der ki: "sen şimdi bana bunu inanarak söylüyorsun ama yakında ölmeyeceksin ki" bu şekilde karşılıklı muhabbet ederler, kadın vejetaryen olduğunu söyler, erkekse "et yemem diyorsun ama buluşmaya deri ceketle gelmişsin" diyerek laf sokar, kadınınsa ona karşı hissettikleri içinde patlar sürekli, böyle böyle devam eder diyaloglar.
epitaph epitaph
i was hoping.. içini kanatıyor derinden.. şarkıya yardımcı ol bir sigara yak dinlerken.. nasıl bir şarkısın sen!

i was hoping i was hoping we could dance together
i was hoping i was hoping we could be creamy together
aphroad aphroad
anlatılamayacak kadar mükemmel müziği, sözleri ile insanı süründüren, mahveden, dilini yutturan şarkıdır.
dinlemekten asla bıkılmaz. her seferinde yaralar, kanatır ama her seferinde yeniden ister bünye.
hikayesini, kendi hikayeme çok benzettiğimden ötürü olsa gerek, asla vazgeçemem.